Are you tired of the struggle to stop comparing yourself to others? Here we are at the start of a new year and oftentimes we are making resolutions or setting new goals for ourselves. But we can get stuck in some of those same patterns that have played out in our lives...including comparing our progress with others’.
What do you do when you slip up or “fall off the horse”? Life is moving along and you’re thinking that things are going really well; you’re feeling calm and in control; getting stuff done; and all of a sudden - they’re not going so well - at all. You notice that you’ve totally slipped up or fell back into old habits. What do you do? Well, I hope you forgive yourself! But, I know many of us don’t. Our automatic reaction is to blame and criticize ourselves.
Do you regularly tell yourself that you SHOULD be doing something differently, doing more of something, or doing better? I wonder, is that a form of judging yourself? Like, are you actually just comparing yourself to others when you say “I should”?
When we’re struggling with any kind of depression (major depression, mild chronic depression, seasonal depression, or some other form), all we want is to find something – anything – to help us feel better. I used to wonder, are there really things that you can easily do on your own to beat depression? Well there ARE things you can STOP that will help significantly!
I know you feel it, just like I do! When I’m not doing “all the things” or crossing tons of shit off my never ending list, I feel riddled with guilt and sometimes, even shame. That’s when I ask myself, what can I do to ease the guilt I feel? Guilt is a normal human emotion, but it keeps us focused on the past.
Pain isn’t a competition but there is pain that white people will never experience or be able to understand. So, while I would never minimize anyone’s feelings or the pain that an individual feels, I need to admit that I am privileged to be a white woman and as a white woman, I will never experience the same kind of pain as that of a black person.
Everyone is talking about the new normal. No one really knows what that will look like. Currently, normal, at least for me and most people I know, is staying home, staying within the confines of our own personal space, and going outside of that only for necessities. Today is day 49 of “staying at home” 95% of the time. You know how you feel on Sundays, knowing you have to go back to work on Monday morning?
So much is out of our control. And, with the way the world is today - we don’t even have control over whether we can leave the house. Of course, we stay home, because we want to be safe and do our part to keep others healthy, but it’s freakin’ hard. That’s why it’s important for us to remember the things we do have control over.
With the changes put into place to keep us healthy and safe, it’s very likely that your life may be in a sort of upheaval. We all have different circumstances, so we are experiencing different upheavals. But most of us can probably agree that life is different now from last month or even a couple weeks ago. And, if you’re like me, you’re wondering if this is the new normal, and if so, something needs to change!
Feeling anxious, anyone? Right now, with everything going on, it’s no wonder we are experiencing higher levels of anxiety. Of course, we’re concerned with our health, safety, and well-being (and our loved ones), but there are lots of other reasons for this heightened level of anxiety that aren’t necessarily that obvious.