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What do you do when you slip up or “fall off the horse”? Life is moving along and you’re thinking that things are going really well; you’re feeling calm and in control; getting stuff done; and all of a sudden - they’re not going so well - at all. You notice that you’ve totally slipped up or fell back into old habits. What do you do? Well, I hope you forgive yourself! But, I know many of us don’t. Our automatic reaction is to blame and criticize ourselves.

Do you regularly tell yourself that you SHOULD be doing something differently, doing more of something, or doing better? I wonder, is that a form of judging yourself? Like, are you actually just comparing yourself to others when you say “I should”?

I know you feel it, just like I do! When I’m not doing “all the things” or crossing tons of shit off my never ending list, I feel riddled with guilt and sometimes, even shame. That’s when I ask myself, what can I do to ease the guilt I feel? Guilt is a normal human emotion, but it keeps us focused on the past.

Pain isn’t a competition but there is pain that white people will never experience or be able to understand. So, while I would never minimize anyone’s feelings or the pain that an individual feels, I need to admit that I am privileged to be a white woman and as a white woman, I will never experience the same kind of pain as that of a black person.

I will never again tell my kids that I am proud of them. So, you might be assuming that I’m one of those people who thinks we praised our kids too much and that’s why the millenials turned out so lazy and entitled. Um, no, I am NOT one of those people. But, I’m not proud of my kids for what they’ve done.