Are you tired of the struggle to stop comparing yourself to others? Here we are at the start of a new year and oftentimes we are making resolutions or setting new goals for ourselves. But we can get stuck in some of those same patterns that have played out in our lives...including comparing our progress with others’.
What do you do when you slip up or “fall off the horse”? Life is moving along and you’re thinking that things are going really well; you’re feeling calm and in control; getting stuff done; and all of a sudden - they’re not going so well - at all. You notice that you’ve totally slipped up or fell back into old habits. What do you do? Well, I hope you forgive yourself! But, I know many of us don’t. Our automatic reaction is to blame and criticize ourselves.
Do you regularly tell yourself that you SHOULD be doing something differently, doing more of something, or doing better? I wonder, is that a form of judging yourself? Like, are you actually just comparing yourself to others when you say “I should”?
When we’re struggling with any kind of depression (major depression, mild chronic depression, seasonal depression, or some other form), all we want is to find something – anything – to help us feel better. I used to wonder, are there really things that you can easily do on your own to beat depression? Well there ARE things you can STOP that will help significantly!
I know you feel it, just like I do! When I’m not doing “all the things” or crossing tons of shit off my never ending list, I feel riddled with guilt and sometimes, even shame. That’s when I ask myself, what can I do to ease the guilt I feel? Guilt is a normal human emotion, but it keeps us focused on the past.
Pain isn’t a competition but there is pain that white people will never experience or be able to understand. So, while I would never minimize anyone’s feelings or the pain that an individual feels, I need to admit that I am privileged to be a white woman and as a white woman, I will never experience the same kind of pain as that of a black person.
Everyone is talking about the new normal. No one really knows what that will look like. Currently, normal, at least for me and most people I know, is staying home, staying within the confines of our own personal space, and going outside of that only for necessities. Today is day 49 of “staying at home” 95% of the time. You know how you feel on Sundays, knowing you have to go back to work on Monday morning?
I will never again tell my kids that I am proud of them. So, you might be assuming that I’m one of those people who thinks we praised our kids too much and that’s why the millenials turned out so lazy and entitled. Um, no, I am NOT one of those people. But, I’m not proud of my kids for what they’ve done.
Where I live, it’s been so dreary lately – rain, clouds, and gloomy weather are the norm. Sometimes, in the middle of winter or during a long stint of this kind of weather, we can get into a slump. We feel sluggish and can’t seem to get out of this funk.
I bet you do something special for your loved ones on Valentine’s Day and even on lots of other days that aren’t “Hallmark Holidays.” So, can I assume that you do special things for yourself on these days too? Because you ARE one of your loved ones, right? Ok, so you’re saying, well…...sorta, yeah. Maybe it’s more likely that you put yourself last.